Nifty Effect Code #2 (or wherever I left off at)

hspeed = (hspeed + 1/20) mod 2;

What it does: Accelerates and then stops, then accelerates and stops.

Why you should care: Remember those zombies in Diablo II that dragged huge-ass swords as they lurched toward you, then suddenly lunged at you when in range? It's kinda like that style of walking, only more pronounced.